Time to regroup and rethink

I haven't posted anything lately, the reason being is that too much has happened since my last post. So much, that I will have to rethink this whole blog. I thought it was going to be a blog about special needs parenting, but I guess that an adjustment will be in order. Basically I don't know what this blog will be about ( Let's just pray that is not about cooking because as my husband would be happy to testify, I pretty much suck at the whole thing of using heat to transform raw ingredients into foods adequate and safe for human consumption.) We shall see; and in the meantime, we'll write while this thing gets less random.

If you read this, you probably don't have me on your facebook, just to update you this is what I posted on 03/13/2012:

Our son Zachary Owen is completely healed. He is with our heavenly father, playing with all the angels, he met our savior Jesus at 7:32, he was two months old. God lend me one of his angels for a little while, he will be forever loved and remembered, fearfully and wonderfully made he honored his name: Zachary which means remembered by God, Owen which means Celtic warrior, and boy he fought the good fight. We will always love you my little angel, will always miss you and I know that we will see you again in heaven and you will be there with your arms open wide ready for us as the most bright and shiny of all souls. Have a good night my sweet baby, mommy loves you very much. 

More than a month has passed, and it still hurts and feels as if it was yesterday. This little guy broke my heart into a million pieces, humbled me and showed me love and God's grace in a way that is still beyond my comprehension. I guess that in the meantime, I will figure out a way to glue this pieces back together somehow, as I will try to thread this blog in a way that makes some sense, even when things don't make sense at all... I guess that it doesn't hurt to try. 

It's 9:43 pm, at this time my little guy probably would've been on his continuous feeding, but now he doesn't need any of that. I would give anything to just hold him again or cuddle for just one more night, but I can't. Who knows what I will do now with all this broken pieces, with all this love, with all this baby gear still in the boxes, with all this diapers, with all this sudden "extra time", the only thing left to do is pray that this becomes something useful for someone, someday.

I still miss you "mi pulguita"
pulguita: little flea in Spanish.