Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

There is indeed a plan and a purpose for every life, and it took a Zachary for a mediocre hard headed christian like me to finally understand just that.

If you are human, 99% of your DNA is identical to all your other fellow humans out there. It's just that 1% that makes the difference between you, me, Zachary or Albert Einstein. It is proven that there is an identical blueprint for every human being, as if we all shared the signature of the same artist, as if there was after all, some thought behind the whole thing.

And what is a 99% of a tiny DNA molecule really? My best attempt at understanding all this, hoping that I don't get any doctors or scientists offended, is that we know now that there is indeed a code, a very specific code of instructions imprinted in every cell of our bodies, a very long code with approximately 25.000 genes decoded so far. This numbers may be in constant change as science keeps progressing by leaps and bounds, but regardless of that, the blueprint is still there.

If we basically share 99% of our DNA, how come that we still get to be so judgmental, so entitled and stiff, how come that we still have comments out there such as: "You have good genes", or "You carried the gene that was passed on your son/daughter, that caused this or that disorder". We all come with 99 % of that blueprint. As simple as that, and I just don't see the randomness in this or that disorder any more, because there's only a %1 that makes all the difference. How can that be random with so little room for changes?

How can THIS be random?

It's mind boggling. Just as mind boggling that this %1 left, makes all the difference that brings our uniqueness, that brings our challenges and our own disabilities, some visible some not. It brings the best and the worst from us, and it makes our brokenness and sinful nature flare, and Gods delights on that because he knows us full well, and he loves us regardless of our flaws. This %1 brings our unique features, skills and talents that we have been gifted with. All in code of four letters: A-T and C-G, four letters carefully and microscopically arranged with the most sophisticated copy-paste system known to man.

For me, it just takes a bigger leap of faith to believe that this was a "spontaneous" mutation, or a random accident, or something that "just happened" because we had bad luck in all this baby making ordeal, when it is evident that Zachary in his disability and with all his NOT DOING'S, was just as powerful as a gifted and talented child, he brought a lot to the table and touched more lives in two months than whatever I've managed to do in 30 years, having a fully enabled body. There was thought and purpose in the life of my son, and I find it very hard for someone to come up with enough evidence to convince me otherwise, but I would definitely welcome the challenge.

Even when scientists manage to classify the whole code (Which I believe that sooner or later they will.)
Even when find the exact locations responsible for our facial features, height, hair color, mental ability or lack of it, diseases, deformities and disorders, that would only support even more the idea that there is indeed a thoughtful purpose of creation for every life. Not that I pretend to understand it, but I have a very hard time believing other wise, just the tale that this is all a "Survival of the Fittest" quest just falls short.

I believe that good scientists should be willing to go where ever the evidence leads them, and I believe that they would be speechless and in awe , unraveling each day millions and millions of more questions. God is infinite and there's no way that we would EVER outsmart God, the more knowledge we gather, should only contribute to humble us more and more in front of his power.

Just my clumsy attempts at understanding the whole cellular division process, where the DNA is arranged and paired  (or not) in our chromosomes gives me a bad headache. Worst than any hangover that I got to experience during my crazy college days. Just the fact that it takes very advanced microscopical machines to copy and reproduce all the information that originated from two small tiny egg and sperm cells, that end up with a human being with a soul, is just way beyond my comprehension.

Psalm 139:13:          
For you created my inmost being;
"You knit me together in my mother's womb"

I've seen countless 3D computer animations of the cellular division (Which drives my husband crazy).
and it shows how the DNA double helix shape unfolds and opens up to let it's information to be captured and reproduced by this microscopical machines once, and again and AGAIN, looking a lot like an industrial knitting process of something magnificent. We may call it genetics now a days, and for some people this is still some sort of science fiction, but the bible outlined this truth in this Psalm, more than 2000 years ago!

Psalm 139:14:  
"I praise you because I'm fearfully and wonderfully made"

I praise you for the 99% that makes me human like everyone else, and I praise you for the 1% that makes me unique, that you know full well, the 1% that makes me whole and broken at the same time, and that YOU somehow love and know better than myself.

Psalm 139:15:  
My frame was not hidden from you 
when I was made in the secret place, 
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 

God didn't "drop the ball" with my son. He knew me, he knew David and he knew each one of the decisions that we would make or not, before we even thought about them. He knew our fathers and our father's father and all this people had to happen before we even happened at all.

My eggs formed in my ovaries when my mom was about five months pregnant... with me! The egg that eventually was going to be Zachary had been there all along too! Before I even took my first breath! This is also true for about every woman in the world! That is just something else, how can that be random?

Psalm 139:16:
Your eyes saw my unformed body,
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

One happy family!

God had a clear plan for Zachary. He came with the mission to leave us with nowhere else to look but "UP" because despite all the amazing doctors, the tons of tests, the ignorant comments and the supporting family and friends, we were at a loss for answers. God showed us with a child as broken as mine, all the suffering and need that is still out there, he painfully pointed to my selfishness and self centered world and shattered it to pieces, just for me to finally be able to step up to the plate, and be Zach's mommy. He left me with nothing else to do but praise, and sometimes I feel sad that it took as much as my son's life for a hard headed person like me to finally get it.

But then, I just have to look at the son of God Jesus, who payed the ultimate price for all of us. And I find comfort in that, sometimes happiness even, but more than that, I SEE PURPOSE.